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The Burning Fire of Blame

Oct1

James 3:5 – So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. (HCSB)

Proverbs 28:13 – The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy. (HCSB)

Recently a very high profile person said something she shouldn’t have said. She came in on a conversation and commented without knowing the back-story. When an apology was demanded, her friends came to her defense by blaming the listener. Why do humans feel the need to blame instead of just apologizing? Robert Kiyosaki said, “Its human nature to blame someone for your shortcomings or upsets.” James 3:5 compares the damage that can be done with words to the damage that can be done by a fire. When my brother was a small boy, he and his friend heard that rubbing sticks together could start a fire. They decided that the best place to test this theory was in a field of straw. At the moment when a spark ignited the straw, it could have easily been extinguished. Instead, two small boys were overcome by the thought of getting in trouble, so they found a hiding spot and concluded their best option was to place the blame on a roving band of cowboys. While they were shifting the blame, a fire was roaring out of control. What damage could have been avoided had they had just acknowledged their mistake and not tried to pass the blame! Somehow humans feel that blaming others relieves us of the sin. Rather than admit that we made a mistake, took a regrettable action, said something we shouldn’t have said, we rely on passing the blame onto someone else. Even our apologies pass the blame — “I shouldn’t have reacted that way, but he made me mad” or “I probably could have said that another way, but she is just too sensitive.” In Genesis 3:12-13, Adam blames Eve (and even blames God for creating her in the first place) and Eve blames the serpent. What damage could have been avoided had they acknowledged their mistake and not tried to pass the blame! Lord, I know that like my brother’s small spark in a field a straw, my words can cause things to get of out of control. Rather than accuse and conceal, help me to acknowledge and confess. What damages can be avoided if I would just acknowledge my mistakes and not try to pass the blame

Juggling! Planning! Resting?

Sep16

Matthew 11:28  – Come to Me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (ESV)

I am sitting down with a fresh cup of coffee and my brightly colored pens to arrange my plans for the month ahead.  I am a list maker.  I have a large calendar with huge blocks filled with eye-catching multi-colored commitments. I don’t want to miss anything I’m supposed to do.  I don’t want to miss anywhere I’m supposed to be.  I can juggle and plan like a pro but sometimes I am juggling and planning to the point that my list needs a list of its own.  Sometimes my calendar keeps me focused and on track; sometimes it is so overwhelming that I want to give up before I even start.  Sometimes the bright colors give me motivation; sometimes the very sight of so many colors makes me weary.  Sometimes I can’t keep up. Sometimes I just can’t juggle it all.  Jessica Turner said, “Caring for ourselves and pursuing our passions is part of becoming who God created us to be.”  I agree with her but also know that I can get so busy helping others with pursuing their passions that I am too exhausted to even know, much less pursue, what my passions might be.  Psalm 23:2 says that the shepherd makes His sheep lie down (KJV).  He makes them lie down because He knows that they need to rest mind and body.  Judith Hanson Lasater said, “Taking time out each day to relax and renew is essential to living well.”  I know that there are times when I allow the busyness of life to devour my days until there is no time to relax and renew, no time to rest and be refreshed in God’s presence, no time to hear God’s plan for what He created me to be.  Lucille Zimmerman summed it all up she said, “Humans may be social beings, but solitude has been shown to have great social value.  Jesus was a great healer and teacher, but He took time to rest and pray.  Solitude is essential for our spiritual experience – it is where we hear the still small voice.” Jesus, I follow You in the work but help me to also follow You in the rest. The multi-colored words on my calendar are not there to impress others but are tools to help me focus and stay on task.  The pretty colors are not there to impress but what they represent is meant to impress.  Galatians 1:10 asks me who I am trying to impress, men or God, and I know that sometimes my honest answer would not be the best answer. Lord, I read Matthew 11:28-29 and know that You are telling me to look to You for productive rest, to look to You instead of to my calendar for my direction, to look to You.

Swimming in “Why?”

Jul16

Jeremiah 17:7 – The man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence indeed is the Lord, is blessed. (HCSB)

Luke 1:37 – For nothing will be impossible with God (ESV)

My grandchildren were enjoying playing in the pool when a horsefly landed on my grandson’s head. I yelled for him to go under the water. His response was to stay where he was and ask “why?” I told him again to go under the water, and again his only action was to ask “why?” By that time I had gotten to him and was able to shoo the horsefly away before it decided to sting. I told my grandson about the horsefly, and said, “When I tell you to do something, just know there’s a reason so do it and I’ll explain later.”   I could almost hear God saying, “Seriously? You are telling someone to do what you tell them, when you tell them, and to have faith in your reasoning?” He didn’t add, “You, who can at times out “why?” a two-year-old”, but it certainly was implied! Psalm 139:6 tells us that God’s knowledge is amazing and more than we can understand. Time after time we see God’s people in the Bible stand still and ask “why?” instead of having faith in what they knew was true. Time after time today we continue see God’s people stand still and ask “why?” instead of having faith in what we know is true.  Oswald Chambers said, “Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time,” and Charles Hodge said, “The ultimate ground of faith and knowledge is confidence in God.” So many times we are willing to stand on faith but are not willing to move in faith. I wanted my grandson to trust me enough to react immediately when I called to him. I wanted him to react immediately to my command because of his personal knowledge that I would always look out for his welfare. Isn’t that what God wants of us as well? We know of God’s protection in the past and that gives us confidence of His protection in the future. Jeremiah 29:11 says that God knows the plans He has for me, plans for my well being, not to cause me harm. Even when I don’t know the plan, I know the Planner, and that’s all I need to know to rest assured that the plan is a good one!

A Little Sin

Jul5

Joshua 6:17 – But keep yourselves from the things set apart, or you will be set apart for destruction. If you take any of those things, you will set apart the camp of Israel for destruction and bring disaster on it. (HCSB)

Joshua 7:21 – When I saw among the spoils a beautiful cloak from Babylon, 200 silver shekels, and a bar of gold weighing 50 shekels, I coveted them and took them. You can see for yourself. They are concealed in the ground inside my tent, with the money under the cloak.” (HCSB)

My grand daughter was eating chocolate syrup on her ice cream when she turned to my husband and said, “I may have gotten a little on my shirt.” When my husband looked, chocolate syrup was smeared across her entire chest and down across her tummy! What started out as a barely noticeable spot became a huge stain when she tried to wipe it away. I started thinking about how that so often happens with our sin. We commit a “little” sin, but rather that confess and deal with the consequences, we try to hide it, pretend it never happened, wipe it away. I recently saw “little sins grow fast” posted on a social media site. Sir Walter Scott in the book Marmion summed it up with “Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”. A simple translation of that quote might be “what complications we create when we try to hide a simple mistake.” Joshua 7:20-26 tells us the story of Achan. Joshua 6:20 says there was a trumpet blast, then a great shout, then the walls of Jericho collapsed – the walls of Jericho had fallen because people gave a loud shout! Achan’s adrenalin must have been pumping! Then he goes into the city, and there is just so much stuff – shiny stuff, sparkly stuff, colorful stuff. More stuff than anyone could ever use. And, he wanted some of that stuff so badly. Oh, he knew that God had said not to take anything, but he only took a small fraction of what was there so it was just a little sin, and he was sure he could hide it so that no one would even know. But, like the chocolate on my grand daughter’s shirt, his sins were discovered. Joshua 7:24-25 describes how not only Achan paid for his sin but his family also paid a great price. Lord, we know that sin creates a barrier between us and You (Isaiah 59:2), and Jesus told us in Luke 12:2-3 that our sins will be revealed. As the old hymn says, “Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe; Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.”

Gold Ring in a Pig’s Snout

Jun16

Proverbs 11:22 – Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. (ESV)

As my husband and I were sitting in a restaurant enjoying our after dinner coffee, we were able to see the couples coming in for dinner before going to the local high school prom. We were enchanted with the beautiful dresses and all the sparkly jewelry, but our enchantment turned to shock when one very well endowed young woman walked in. The V in the front of her dress ended at her navel with only three very thin straps holding the two halves of the dress together. There was a great deal of “spillage” going on and she had to keep “readjusting”. Then we were given a view of the back of the dress. Let’s just say that we were quite confident she had neither a tattoo nor panties! I don’t believe that women need to be completely covered head to toe with no skin showing at all, but there should be some mystery involved! The most shocking thing for me about the dress is that her parents probably have not only seen it but also spent a large amount of money paying for it. I can’t help but wonder what that young woman will see when she looks into a mirror in twenty, thirty, fifty years. At this stage of her life she can look in the mirror at her physical appearance and confidently agree with the Psalmist that she is wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), but will she know that God sees her as a masterpiece when the mirror reflects wrinkles, grey hair, some extra curves, and possibly a roll or two? I have been a teen-ager on my way to a prom so I know it takes many days of preparation for a few hours of presentation, but I wonder how much preparation is going into her presenting herself to the Lord. Does she know that God sees more than her physical beauty (1 Samuel 16:7)? Is she aware of 1 Peter 3:3-4? I am not suggesting that God is displeased when we have a pretty hairstyle or wear some nice jewelry, but our beauty to God is not found in hairstyles, body shapes, and fine clothing. Proverbs 31:30 tells us that outward beauty will change but a woman who loves the Lord is to always be praised. I do not know this young woman, will probably never see her again, but I pray for her. I pray that her adorning won’t just be the perishable external but also her adorning will be internal with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Peter 3:4).

Frightened by the Hill

May26

Genesis 12:1 – The Lord said to Abram: Go out from your land, your relatives,
and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. (HCSB)

Genesis 12:4a – So Abram went, as the Lord had told him (HCSB)

I was recently talking to a friend who had just gotten back from a trip to Nashville, Tennessee – a city known for its music and its food. She and her husband decided to go out to eat dinner, but their choices were limited to somewhere within walking distance of their hotel. They talked to people in the hotel and were given instructions, but when they went outside and looked around, they only saw the familiar neon sign of a fast food restaurant. They had been told that restaurants were near-by, but they turned to the left, toward what they could see, and had a fast food burger for their night out on the town. The next day they discovered that if they had turned to the right, they would have had block after block of restaurants and food choices, but they could not see the delights awaiting them from their spot in front of the hotel because a hill blocked their view. As I listened to her tell her story, I thought of how their choices that night compared to choices I have made in my life. I want to be involved in amazing things, just as my friends wanted an amazing dinner. I know that amazing things are out there somewhere, just as my friends knew that amazing food was out there somewhere. I have been assured of great things to come, but I go with what is within my view at the moment. Rather than wait for the good things ahead, I go with the inferior thing that I can have now. Rather than climb the hill and follow God’s directions to find the feast, I stay on the easy route and settle for the first thing that satisfies my momentary hunger. I would never suggest that someone strike off into the dark of an unknown city, but I can be just as reluctant to strike off into the unseen, even with a known God. Psalm 118:8 says its better to trust the Lord than put confidence in man, but time after time I ignore His direction for what I think is “a sure thing”. God’s word tells us about the many blessings He has in store for those who follow His directions, but so often we are frightened by the sight of the hill. Lord, please forgive me for settling for the mundane on the easy route when the amazing is just over the hill.

Steps of Trust

Apr20

2 Thessalonians 3:3 – But the Lord is faithful; He will strengthen and guard you from the evil one. (HCSB)

2 Corinthians. 5:7 – For we walk by faith, not by sight, (HCSB)

As followers of Christ, we have faith in His power but so often we lack trust in His actions. I grew up in church singing words that told me trusting was the way to be happy in Jesus, that it’s sweet to trust in Jesus, and that His faithfulness is great. I have the history to prove the value of trusting Him and also some history that includes the consequences of when I chose to trust myself instead! Woodrow Kroll said, “If God was faithful to you yesterday, you have reason to trust Him for tomorrow.” God has been so very faithful to me through my yesterdays. He has brought people into my life to give me encouragement, to give me laughter, to give me direction, sometimes even to give me food and clothing. He has been faithful to comfort me in times of trouble and faithful to guide me in times of confusion. He has faithfully waited for me to return when I wandered and faithfully nudged me when I didn’t want to leave my chosen path. Martin Luther King Jr said, “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” There have been times when I chose to take that step and times when I chose instead to have the adult version of a two-year-old’s tantrum because it wasn’t the staircase that I had decided I needed to climb. I know that sometimes God just shakes His head at my stubbornness, but He is always faithful. Joni Erickson Tada said, “Faith isn’t the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. Its simply taking God at His word and taking the next step.” God’s word says that I am to walk by faith not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7) and that when I walk by faith, walls will fall (Hebrews 11:30) and that great things happen when people walk in faith (Hebrews 11). Much of our understanding and behavior is based on prior knowledge so how can we doubt the goodness of God when we have abundant prior knowledge of Him strengthening and guarding us? I may not understand what is happening or why something isn’t happening, but I have learned to trust God. How can I not agree with Corrie ten Boom when she said, “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” Ernest Hemingway said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” If that statement is true of men, how wonderfully true it will prove to be with the Lord. I cannot see into the future, but God knows what the future holds. I cannot see the entire staircase, but God knows where the staircase leads. I don’t need to see the journey’s outcome, I just need to take the next step and to put my trust in a faithful God.

Knit Together Souls

Apr15

1 Samuel 18:1 – “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” (ESV)

2 Samuel 1:26 – “I grieve for you, Jonathan, my brother. You were such a friend to me. Your love for me was more wonderful than the love of women.” (HCSB)

I am missing my friend today on the anniversary of her death. “Friend” isn’t the correct word because people have lots of friends and friendly acquaintances, but we were so much more than that. If not “friend” then maybe “BFF” because after many years I still miss her, and my first thought is to call her when something happens in my life, but then I am hit with the reality that she is no longer available to answer my call. But, “BFF” has become so trivialized and commonplace and our friendship was never trivial or commonplace. No, “BFF” isn’t correct either. If neither “friend” nor “BFF” are correct, then maybe “Sister Friend” because we did all the things that sisters do – argued over minor things, borrowed each others’ clothes, had private jokes (that were quite hilarious by the way), did each others’ hair and make-up, laughed together, cried together, shared secrets, and talked – oh, how we talked! But, somehow “Sister Friend” doesn’t seem correct either. I always called her “My Janet”, and I think that’s a much better title than “friend”, “BFF”, or even “Sister Friend.” Marcus Tullius Cicero said, “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” “My Janet” sat with me in the hospital while my grandmother was dying. I sat with her in the hospital while her granddaughter was being born. I knew she would always come when I called, and she knew I never wanted her to leave this earth when she did. I read about Jonathan and David and think that their friendship was much like Janet’s and mine. 1 Samuel 18:4 even says they shared clothes! Like David, I have feelings of inadequacy. Like Jonathan with David, Janet believed in me. I read 2 Samuel 1:28 and know the deep sorrow that David is feeling. I know that there has been much discussion and controversy over the last part of that verse, but I think it just means that the love of a close friend is different than the love of a spouse. Jean de La Fontaine said, “Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer.” As much as I wish she were with me, I celebrate that she is with Jesus. Just as I could never find the correct word to describe my friendship with Janet, Joseph Roux says there is no word to describe my void without her (“We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.”) I am just really missing my friend today on the anniversary of her death, but I am so thankful that God allowed our souls to be knit together.

I Want More

Apr8

Psalm 116:17 – I will offer You a sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of Yahweh. (HCSB)

James 1:17 – Every generous act and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights; with Him there is no variation or shadow cast by turning. (HCSB)

Luke 12: 15 – He then told them, “Watch out and be on guard against all greed because one’s life is not in the abundance of his possessions.” (HCSB)

 

Why is it that we want what we don’t have? We don’t like change because we want things the way they used to be, or at least the way we “remember” the way they used to be. Our memories tend to look at the past with rose-colored glasses. Exodus 16:3 tells us that the Israelites looked back at slavery with longing, losing sight of the lifestyle to focus on the meals! We look with longing at the greener grass in the neighbor’s yard — also at the car, the new deck furniture, and all the other wonderful things they seem to have that we don’t! We would be so happy if only we had ……., each one of us has a personal phrase to complete that sentence. We just want more – more house, more money, more clothes, just more. Satan loves planting seeds of desire for what we don’t have and usually those seeds produce a bumper crop. Genesis 3:2-6 tells us of Eve in the Garden of Eden. She lived in a perfect environment with multiple varieties of abundant and luscious fruit, but with all she had, she wanted more. There was one fruit that she couldn’t have, and she became obsessed with what she was missing. The amazing garden went out of focus, and all she could see was the forbidden fruit. She began to focus on what she didn’t have and lost sight of God’s countless gifts. She became fixated on what was wrong with her life and took steps to right that wrong in her own way. Epictetus said “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” Garth Brooks said, “Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you get.” I would say that happiness is being thankful for God’s provision. Being thankful makes us focus on all that we have been given instead of on what we think is being withheld. Being thankful stunts the growth of negativity. Gratefulness trumps grumpiness every time! 1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells me that it is God’s will for me to give thanks. Lord, today I give thanks not only with a grateful heart but also with a humble one. You bless me in so many ways. Please help me to turn my eyes to Your gifts and away from my greed.

Changing My Vision

Apr2

Proverbs 4:13 – Don’t set foot on the path of the wicked; don’t proceed in the way of evil ones. (HCSB)

Colossians 3:13 – accepting one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. (HCSB)

I am sharing with my friend a comment someone made to me at church about my weight. My weight has always been a struggle for me, and I get teary just recounting the incident. As my friend pours another cup of coffee, she recounts some past comments this person has made to me. I am honestly shocked when my friend asks if I am aware that I am being bullied. Bullying seems to be a prevalent topic in today’s society, and if you believe the media, is out of control among teens, but with adults in the church? There are laws about bullying in the schools and bullying in the workplace, but what about when the bully is a fellow church member? What can you do when the hurtful and belittling comments come from a soft-spoken, scripture quoting, church lady? When we think of bullies, we often have the image of Goliath – someone bigger, meaner, loud with their taunting words. But, how are we to handle the bully who is so manipulative with her sweetness that it makes you look like the mean girl? I know that I should pray scripture over her, but the scripture I really want to pray is 2 Kings 2:23-24 and then just wait for the bears! No exercise manual would ever offer “sitting” and “walking” as synonyms, so wouldn’t that justify me sitting on her with my overweight self and not worrying about Proverbs 4:14? What my worldly self desires is revenge, but the words of Josh Billings come to mind, “There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.” Then I have to ask myself, “who am I to withhold mercy when so much mercy has been shown to me?” and immediately my prayers change. I need to remember Proverbs 15:1 and respond to her with gentle rather than harsh words. Nikos Kazantzakis said, “Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality.” Lord, I know that I cannot change this person, but please help me to change my vision of her. Instead of seeing her as a harassing tyrant to sidestep, help me to see her as a hurting treasure to seek. Lord, Proverbs 15:18 tells me that I have a choice, and with each encounter, I pray that I will choose to be the one who calms the quarrel not the one who stirs up conflict.