Tag Archive | apology

The Burning Fire of Blame

James 3:5 – So too, though the tongue is a small part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. (HCSB)

Proverbs 28:13 – The one who conceals his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them will find mercy. (HCSB)

Recently a very high profile person said something she shouldn’t have said. She came in on a conversation and commented without knowing the back-story. When an apology was demanded, her friends came to her defense by blaming the listener. Why do humans feel the need to blame instead of just apologizing? Robert Kiyosaki said, “Its human nature to blame someone for your shortcomings or upsets.” James 3:5 compares the damage that can be done with words to the damage that can be done by a fire. When my brother was a small boy, he and his friend heard that rubbing sticks together could start a fire. They decided that the best place to test this theory was in a field of straw. At the moment when a spark ignited the straw, it could have easily been extinguished. Instead, two small boys were overcome by the thought of getting in trouble, so they found a hiding spot and concluded their best option was to place the blame on a roving band of cowboys. While they were shifting the blame, a fire was roaring out of control. What damage could have been avoided had they had just acknowledged their mistake and not tried to pass the blame! Somehow humans feel that blaming others relieves us of the sin. Rather than admit that we made a mistake, took a regrettable action, said something we shouldn’t have said, we rely on passing the blame onto someone else. Even our apologies pass the blame — “I shouldn’t have reacted that way, but he made me mad” or “I probably could have said that another way, but she is just too sensitive.” In Genesis 3:12-13, Adam blames Eve (and even blames God for creating her in the first place) and Eve blames the serpent. What damage could have been avoided had they acknowledged their mistake and not tried to pass the blame! Lord, I know that like my brother’s small spark in a field a straw, my words can cause things to get of out of control. Rather than accuse and conceal, help me to acknowledge and confess. What damages can be avoided if I would just acknowledge my mistakes and not try to pass the blame

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The Hardest Words to Say

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (NIV)

1 John 1:9 – If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. (The Message Bible)

Lord, why is it so difficult to take responsibility when we do something wrong?  I heard people joking say, and resonsibility2I’ve said it myself, “I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.”  When we say that, it’s supposed to be funny.  When we act it out, it’s not funny at all.  One time I had someone say something very hurtful to me, so hurtful that people who overheard were shocked.  A friend of hers forced her to apologize to me.  Her apology was “I’m sorry you cried.”  What she was really saying was “I’m sorry that you got me in trouble.”   She not only didn’t take responsibility for her action, she felt that she had been the victim because of my reaction.  Saying “I’m sorry” is so important. I’ve heard people say that if you love someone, you don’t have to say you’re sorry.  That is such a lie from Satan.  We need to say it to our spouses, to our children, to our friends, even to strangers.  We especially need to say it to You, Lord.  Sometimes we don’t apologize because we are trying to hide our sin from You.  Sometimes we even try to put the blame on You.  Adam did that in the Garden of Eden.  He tried to hide.  When discovered, he didn’t take responsibility for his sin.  He felt that he had been the victim.  He blamed You.   1 John 1:9 tells us if we confess our sins, You will forgive us.  Lord, I am sorry that I let my tongue become like that unbridled horse that James warns about.  Lord, I’m sorry that I try to blame others and You for my sins.  Lord, I’m sorry that I worry and fret even though You tell me not to do that.  Lord, I’m sorry that I sometimes get in the way of Your blessings by trying to “help” You.  Lord, thank You for loving me so much that You meet me over coffee and let me say “I’m sorry.”