Over and Over and Over

Feb23

Mark 5:25-28:25 Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, 26 and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. 28 For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.” (NKJV) 

Luke 18:1-3: Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against myadversary.’ (NIV)

Lord, I’m sitting here ready to talk to You.  The house is quiet.  My coffee cup is full.  I can feel You sitting with me.  Yet I don’t know what to say.  I have been praying this same prayer for a long time.  I feel as if I say the same thing over and over and over again, but I don’t feel an answer (not even that dreaded word “wait”).  How long do I persist?  How long before I just give up?  Then I think of all the mundcoffee cupane housework chores that I do over and over and over.  I don’t give up dusting or vacuuming or laundry or even cleaning the bathroom, but I’m thinking of giving up on God!!!  Lord, I think of the woman who touched Your robe to be healed. We read that scripture so often without even a thought as to her efforts.  She was trying to get through a wall of people.  She was weak and sick and the crowd was strong and mighty, but she tried over and over and over to get close enough to just touch Your robe.  She didn’t give up.  Lord, I think of Your parable of the woman who went before the judge over and over and over again.  She was a woman in a man’s world going up against a judge who dismissed her, but she went to him over and over and over.   Lord, You tell us in Luke to always pray and never give up.  I know that I need that kind of faith.  I know that I need the kind of faith that doesn’t give up, the kind of faith that doesn’t stop, the kind of faith that continues to pray.  Lord, please forgive me for putting You on my time limit.  Thank You, Lord, for listening to me over and over and over!

But Something Bad Might Happen!

Feb19

Psalm 27:1 
The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid? 
(NKJV)

coffeeairplaneI was recently on an airplane, and as we sipped our coffee, my seatmate and I started chatting.  We went through the usual “Where are you going?”  “How long is your layover in Atlanta?” (if  you use air travel in eastern part of the US, you go through Atlanta!)  Then we got to the “Where do you live?”  My seatmate lived about an hour from the shore in NC.  He said that even though his family loved the beach and that his wife went almost every day, he refuses to live any closer to the ocean.  When I shared with him that it was my dream to live near the ocean, he said “What about when the hurricanes come in?”  Without thinking I replied “But, what about when they don’t?”  I started thinking about that conversation.  He based his lifestyle on the bad things that might happen.  Hurricanes have great power and are devastating when they hit, but a hurricane coming ashore in North Carolina is not a common occurrence.  I have a friend whose mother stayed by her side until she was in senior high school because of the fear of kidnapping.  Not only did she live in fear, but also she planted the seed of fear in her daughter.  She based both of their lifestyles on the bad things that might happen.  Lord, You know that we live in a sinful world.  You gave us senses to be aware of our surroundings and the knowledge to avoid an openly dangerous situation.  2 Timothy 1:7 says “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”   Over and over You tell us “fear not.”  Isaiah 41:13 says “For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. “  Lord, thank You for holding my hand and always being there when I turn to you.  Psalm 55:22 tells me that I can give You my burdens and You will take care of me.  You tell me in 1 Peter 5:7 to give my anxiety to You.  You tell me to give You my concerns because You care about me, and because You care about me, You are concerned about me.  Nothing is too big or too small for You.  Thank You, Lord, for giving me a promise of peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7).  I know that I need to be aware and take the needed precautions to avoid harm, but thank You Lord that I do not need to live my life based on fear.

I Have Had Enough!

Feb9

Isaiah 1:11-14, 18

11 “What are all your sacrifices to Me?” asks the Lord. “I have had enough of burnt offerings and rams and the fat of well-fed cattle; I have no desire for the blood of bulls, lambs, or male goats.12 When you come to appear before Me, who requires this from you- [this] trampling of My courts? 13 Stop bringing useless offerings. I despise [your] incense. New Moons and Sabbaths, and the calling of solemn assemblies- I cannot stand iniquity with a festival. 14 I hate your New Moons and prescribed festivals. They have become a burden to Me; I am tired of putting up with [them].

18 “Come, let us discuss this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they will be like wool.

(Holman Christian Standard)

As my husband and I were having our coffee this morning, I was telling him about an experience I had yesterday while shopping.  I was in a small store with a woman on a cell phone.  Since the store was relatively small and her voice was relatively loud, I could clearly hear her half of the conversation.  She began with “How are you feeling?” and “Is your throat still sore?” but went on to “I don’t think you should go.”  After long moments of silence and a few half sentences on her part, I hear “I’m not arguing with you over this!  Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”  If the person on the other end of that conversation didn’t understand, I certainly did!!  The tone, the words, and the sense of frustration left me no doubt that this was a parent talking to her child.  As I am thinking about that parent and her frustration and exasperation with her child, I can’t help but think of the frustration and exasperation You feel at times with Your children.  This woman in the store had had enough.  In Isaiah 1 You say You have had enough!  Verse 11 says You have had enough of the showy sacrifices with no personal meaning.  Could that mean You have had enough of my busyness and rote prayers?  Verse 13 says to stop bringing You useless offerings. Don’t I sometimes give an offering of worship, but I’m really just playing a showy game?   Verse 14 says that our routines have become a burden to You, and then You add “I am tired of putting up with them.”  I think these verses say to Your children what the woman was saying on the phone – “I am tired of dealing with you.”  But, in verse 18 You give each of us another chance.  You have not become so frustrated and exasperated with me that You have given up.  Thank You, Lord for second chances.  Thank You for forgiving me and showing me mercy when I deserve justice.

So Hard to Wait

Feb1

Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the Lord; be strong and courageous.
Wait for the Lord. (HCSB)

 

paint canLord, I am so physically tired and tired of waiting.  I finished the last of the coffee, but I am still tired.  I started painting the kitchen cabinets yesterday, and they look really good, but now I need to wait.  Wait for one side of the doors to dry so I can paint the other side.  Wait for the drawers to dry so I can put the pulls back on.  Wait for the cabinets to dry so I can put stuff away.  Every flat surface in the house is filled with “stuff”, but I have to wait before I can put it away.  There is a path through the house because even the floors have stacks of “stuff”, but I have to wait before I can clean.  I am so tired of the mess, but I have to wait.  There is so much to do, and all I can do it wait.  Lord, you know that I am not good at waiting.  Wait is definitely a four-letter word for me!  I’m not good at waiting for paint to dry.  I’m not good at waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.  I’m not good at waiting in the store check out line.   I’m not even good at waiting for the beep from the microwave!  And I am not good at waiting on You, Lord.  Over and over You tell me to “wait” and over and over I try to hurry You along.  I lay my cares at Your feet but then take them back to “help” You.  Not only do You tell me to wait, but You tell me to wait patiently.  What?!?!  Then You tell me that I will be blessed by waiting patiently.  Too many times I am like Sarah, helping You along with Your promised blessing.  Most of the time I am like Martha, rushing around when I should be waiting and listening.  David had to wait to be king.  Joseph had to wait for his dream to come true.  Your ways are not my ways and Your time is not my time, Lord. Please calm my restlessness and help me learn to wait.

That’s okay. I am.

Jan27

Psalm 120:1-In my distress I cried unto the Lord, and He heard me.  (KJV) 

Psalm 17:6-I call on You, God because You will answer me; listen closely to

me; hear what I say. (HCSB)

 crayons 

I am having so much fun today, Lord, sipping my coffee and coloring with my granddaughter.  I don’t even know who the characters in this coloring book are supposed to be!  I’m just using crayons that I think are pretty.  Now she wants me to help her draw.  I say to her “I’m not good at drawing.”  Her reply is, “That’s okay.  I am.  You can help me think of what to do.”  I am struck at how much You say that to me!  I say “Lord, I’m not strong enough to do this.” And You say “That’s okay.  I am.”  I say “Lord, I can’t be there to help with that situation.” And You say, “That’s okay.  I am.”   I say “Lord, I’m not able to provide what they need.” And You say, “That’s okay.  I am.”  You don’t need me to help You think of what to do, but You allow me to come to You with my thoughts and wishes and wants.  Sometimes I know I try to help You too much.  Like with the coloring book, I don’t know all the facts of the characters involved so I just color it all with what I think are pretty colors.  Then I turn to You and say “I’m not able to fix this.  And You say “That’s okay.  I am.” One day I came to You and said “I can’t pay for my sins.” And You said “That’s okay.  I already did.”  Thank You, Jesus.

Thanksgiving Day

Jan22

Psalm 86:15: But You, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger and abundant in faithful love and truth

I Chronicles 29:13: Now, our God, we give You thanks, and praise Your glorious name.

(Holman Christian Standard)

As I am sitting here this morning with my cup coffee, I am giving thanks.  It isn’t Thanksgiving Day, but it is a day of thanksgiving for me because I just celebrated another wedding anniversary with my husband.  A joyous occasion any time but especially joyous for me this year.  My husband went into the hospital a few weeks ago with racing heartbeats and chest pains.  That’s alarming anytime, but his father died of a massive heart attack at a younger age than my husband is now.  As I sat beside his bed in the emergency room and later in his hospital room, I never doubted for a minute that You were there with us.  I was thinking random phrase prayers; my prayers weren’t organized enough to even be labeled as sentence prayers, but You heard not only my words but my feelings and concerns. You provided me with dear friends who gave up their “date night” to sit in the waiting room just to be close by if and when we needed them.  You and I both know how easily I cry and You knew that I didn’t want my husband to see me cry, so You sent hospital personnel in at various times and gave me opportunities to “let it out” without my husband having to witness my distress.  I know that I was being selfish.  I know my husband knows You, walks with You, and calls You “friend”.  I know that less than a second after leaving me, he would be with You.  I know that You have a mansion waiting for him where his heart is strong and his body won’t hurt.  I know that this is his temporary home, and, when the time comes, You will call him to move into that mansion.  Lord, I know all of that, but I’m just not ready to stay here without him.  Thank You, Lord that You allowed him to come home with me instead of going home with You. Psalm 86:15 begins by saying that You are merciful and gracious.  Thank You, Lord for being merciful and gracious to me.  Thank You, Lord for giving me more time with this man that I love so much.  I Chronicles 29:13 says “Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.”  Thank You, Lord.

Gossip or Prayer?

Jan14

Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)

James 4:12: There is one lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor? (HCB)

As I was drinking my coffee this morning, I was wandering around different postings on an Internet site.  I came across a post that said, “We don’t refer to it as gossiping, we simply consider it sharing our opinions about other people’s life choices”.  It was meant to be humorous, and I chuckled and moved on.  Later I started thinking about that quote and how true it is in my life.  How many times have I shared my opinion about another person’s life choices when I thought they had made the wrong choice? How many times have I shared some information about someone but dressed it in finery by calling it a prayer request?  How many times have I justified gossip by telling myself of the importance of letting people know the details of what I heard so we can pray informed (or ill informed) prayers?  Am I hiding a tiny spark of glee behind my mask of concern as I ask for prayer? How many times have I laughed at the old joke “if you can’t say something nice about someone, come sit by me”, but then made that joke a major part of my behavior on a daily basis?  How many times have I judged someone’s actions without knowing the whole situation?  How careful have I been to “share” only with others who would agree with me on the issue?   Was I really concerned with building people up and meeting their needs or more interested in character assassination?  When I labeled something as a  “wrong choice “, was it wrong because it was a choice You didn’t agree with or wrong because it was a choice I didn’t agree with?  The first part of James 4:12 says there’s only one lawmaker and judge.  Even if I know the facts surrounding someone’s sin, why do I feel it is my job to reveal that sin?  James 4:12 goes on to ask “who are you to judge your neighbor?” James 4:12 in The Message Bible says when I behave that way, I am writing graffiti over your message.  Lord, I stand before You, humble and contrite.  I could try to explain myself with much stammering and stuttering, but we both know the answers to all of those questions. Lord, I ask that You help me control my sinful tongue and only speak to benefit those who listen.

Hard of Hearing??

Jan8

 

Mark 8:15-17, 21: Then He commanded them: “Watch out! Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and the yeast of Herod.”  They were discussing among themselves that they did not have any bread.  Aware of this, He said to them, “Why are you discussing that you do not have any bread? Don’t you understand or comprehend? Is your heart hardened?

And He said to them, “Don’t you understand yet?” (HCSB)

 

 

ImageI was having coffee with a friend and talking about his daughter who was recently the flower girl in a wedding.  They had heard so many stories about the flower girl refusing to walk down the aisle that everyone in the family had made a big deal about her walking down the aisle and throwing the flower petals. Every conversation included walking down the aisle and throwing the flower petals. At the rehearsal, the wedding director sent the little girl into the church sanctuary with instructions to walk to the front and not to forget to throw the flower petals.  When she stepped through the door, she planted her foot, did her wind up, and threw a handful of flower petals!  Her dad is thinking of checking out a future for her in the major leagues!  Her parents thought they were very clear in what they were saying.  She thought she was very clear in what she was hearing.  They were using the same words but they definitely were not meaning the same thing.  I have always told my grandchildren they only have one rule to remember when they are with me: “no getting hurt on my watch” One time my granddaughter looked at me and quite seriously, and with a hint of panic, said “I don’t know what to do.  You aren’t even wearing a watch!”   I thought I was very clear with what I was saying.  She thought she was quite clear with what she was hearing. We were using the same words, but we not meaning the same thing.  Church people do that so often.  We say, “Let’s go witness”, and others are thinking “But I don’t want to go to court”.  We say, “That person needs to be saved”, and others are thinking “But I’m not an EMT”. We say, “Are you lost?” and others are thinking, “No. I have GPS”. We know exactly what we are saying.  They know exactly what they are hearing.  Lord, sometimes it is just like when You talked about the yeast of the Pharisees in Mark 8 and the disciples thought you wanted them to buy bread.  We are all using the same words, but we are not meaning the same thing. I know I do that with You. I know there are times You must look at me the same way You must have looked at the disciples and said “You STILL don’t understand?”  Lord, I want you to be able to use me just like You were able to use the disciples.  They misunderstood the words sometimes.  They didn’t ask the questions they should have asked because they were too busy asking about things that didn’t matter.  Lord, thank You for loving me and having patience with me.  I pray that even though I sometimes don’t get the words right, my heart will always be right.  

Muffin Top

Jan1

muffinPsalm 139:14: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well. (NIV)

 Proverbs 31:30: Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. (HCSB)

Lord, I’m very discouraged as I pull on my jeans.  I know my muffin top is my fault.  I know that my muffin top has made friends with, well, muffin tops…….and bottoms…….and their good friend, butter.  Muffins taste so good with coffee, Lord!  I’ve read the magazine articles telling me how to trick myself into not eating the unhealthy foods – carrots to replace the crunch of potato chips, water to make me feel as full as if I had just eaten, even chocolate flavored coffee to replace chocolate chip cookies.  Well, apparently I’m not that easily tricked about crunch or solids vs liquids or flavors.  My body just screamed at me “This stuff doesn’t taste like chocolate.  This stuff doesn’t even taste like coffee”.  A full glass of water fills my bladder not my stomach, and my taste buds are well aware that I didn’t eat.  And its safe to say there are not enough carrots in the world! I want to make friends with the number on the scale and the number on the tag in the back of my pants, but the numbers I want to buddy up with don’t seem anxious to hang out with me.   But, Lord, You tell me in Psalms 139 that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. Genesis 1:26 tells me that I am created in Your image.  In Ephesians 2:10 it says that we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.  All of that tells me that You don’t care if the tag in the back of my pants says 2 or 12.  I know that I need to keep my body healthy because You tell me in 1 Corinthians that my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and that it was bought with a price, but  You don’t ask me to have a supermodel’s thin body. What You said to Samuel also applies to me (1 Samuel 16:7).  When You  look at me, You don’t look the same way other people look at me.  People look at the outside, but You look at the heart. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. “

Shattered

Dec28

Psalm 147:3: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (NIV)

Psalm 9:9 The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.  (NLV)

Isaiah 41:10: Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you;
I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand. (HCSB)

shattered cupAs I was drinking my coffee this morning and of course trying to give even more activity to the term multi-tasking, I knocked over my coffee cup.  As I am on my knees cleaning up the mess and thinking that it has shattered into too many pieces to even try to fix it, I think of our world.  Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.  The Massacre at Virginia Tech.  The theater shooting in Colorado.  Columbine.  9/11. Oh Lord, our world is a mess. Even when we are on our knees, it seems that it has shattered into too many pieces for You to fix it. The creation that You declared as good (Genesis 1:31) now seems overrun with evil –  that conscious and deliberate wrongdoing designed to harm others.  Lord, how can people be so consumed with evil that they would kill students who just went to school that day, that they would kill movie goers who just went for some entertainment, that they would kill people who just went to work that morning, that they would kill Your son who left His throne in heaven to salvage sinful man?   Matthew 5:4 says You will comfort us when we mourn.  Lord, we ask for Your comfort in our time of hurt and confusion.  Lord, thank You for mending our broken hearts and for healing our wounds.  Lord, thank You for being our shelter and our refuge.  Lord, thank You for holding me in Your strong and mighty hand and allowing me to draw on Your strength and love.