Psalm 127:2 – It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so He giveth His beloved sleep. (KJV)
I am tired — weary from the inside out. My strength to push through is lost and I can’t conjure up the motivation to look for it. As my grandfather used to say “my get up and go got up and went”, a humorous description of a feeling that is totally devoid of humor. I was worn ragged from ignoring my own physical condition and taking multiple road trips to help care for my sick mom. There I would spend days cooking, shopping, and cleaning only to make the long trek home to ….. cooking, shopping, and cleaning! My mom has regained her stamina but mine seems to be gone forever. When one set of needs are met there are always others calling to me, making me the center of a backward game of Marco Polo. I can definitely identify with those dry bones of Ezekiel 37:2 because I too am dry, disjointed, and lifeless. I am confused and overwhelmed, much more like the sheep in Matthew 9:36 than those of Psalm 23:2. I know that I need to spend time with God, but there are things that need to be done at church and that’s spending time with His house so that’s sort of like spending time with Him, isn’t it? I know that I need to feed on His word, but there are groceries to buy and meals to cook so others will be fed; besides I’ll mention some scripture in my prayer over the meal so that will be kind of like feeding on His Word, won’t it? Everyone can see how much I love God by my frantic running around even in my exhaustion, won’t they? I can almost hear the resounding “NO” coming from the heavens! In Psalm 46:10 God says to be still, but in my case I think He is shouting as a parent would to a child running into danger. “BE STILL from your busyness. BE STILL from your justifications. BE STILL from pleasing others at My expense.” Matthew 11:28 says “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” My translation: “Come here to Me. Put your heavy load down. Just catch your breath. I will take care of it if you will just let Me.” Ezekiel 37:2 tells of dry bones but verse 4 tells of bones coming back to life. Lord, I am tired of trying to please everyone in my own strength. Like Isaiah, I feel I have used all my strength for nothing (Isaiah 49:4). I want to lay down the burdens of busyness and rest in You.