Psalm 127:2 – It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so He giveth His beloved sleep. (KJV)
I am tired — weary from the inside out. My strength to push through is lost and I can’t conjure up the motivation to look for it. As my grandfather used to say “my get up and go got up and went”, a humorous description of a feeling that is totally devoid of humor. I was worn ragged from ignoring my own physical condition and taking multiple road trips to help care for my sick mom. There I would spend days cooking, shopping, and cleaning only to make the long trek home to ….. cooking, shopping, and cleaning! My mom has regained her stamina but mine seems to be gone forever. When one set of needs are met there are always others calling to me, making me the center of a backward game of Marco Polo. I can definitely identify with those dry bones of Ezekiel 37:2 because I too am dry, disjointed, and lifeless. I am confused and overwhelmed, much more like the sheep in Matthew 9:36 than those of Psalm 23:2. I know that I need to spend time with God, but there are things that need to be done at church and that’s spending time with His house so that’s sort of like spending time with Him, isn’t it? I know that I need to feed on His word, but there are groceries to buy and meals to cook so others will be fed; besides I’ll mention some scripture in my prayer over the meal so that will be kind of like feeding on His Word, won’t it? Everyone can see how much I love God by my frantic running around even in my exhaustion, won’t they? I can almost hear the resounding “NO” coming from the heavens! In Psalm 46:10 God says to be still, but in my case I think He is shouting as a parent would to a child running into danger. “BE STILL from your busyness. BE STILL from your justifications. BE STILL from pleasing others at My expense.” Matthew 11:28 says “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” My translation: “Come here to Me. Put your heavy load down. Just catch your breath. I will take care of it if you will just let Me.” Ezekiel 37:2 tells of dry bones but verse 4 tells of bones coming back to life. Lord, I am tired of trying to please everyone in my own strength. Like Isaiah, I feel I have used all my strength for nothing (Isaiah 49:4). I want to lay down the burdens of busyness and rest in You.
Matthew 11:28 : Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (NIV)
Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (NIV)
I just made another cup of coffee, but Lord, we both know it isn’t going to help. I am weary from the inside out. Weary mind, weary body, weary in my spirit. It has been a busy week. One day of doctor’s appointments with more tests to come. One day of sitting at the hospital with a family of close friends. Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to see Your hand at work there! One day of playing “catch up” – cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping. In my “spare time” I am cooking large meals so that there will be leftovers for other meals since I have another busy week coming up. My body is so tired that I feel as if I have literally hit a wall – a big, thick, solid, rock wall. My mind is so tired that I think my brain has overloaded and shut down. Just looking at the calendar creates a feeling of taking on a heavy burden. Aren’t there supposed to be some white spaces on a calendar? I write appointments in different colors to be organized, but when the calendar begins to resemble an explosion in a crayon factory, it just causes me to feel that my master plan has become a master disaster. When I get tired and worn out, I tend to forget that I need to focus on You and not on the schedule. I need to allow You to work with me and give me rest. I know You don’t want me to take on more than I should. Your plan for me includes a time to rejuvenate – mind, body, and spirit. You say to come to You and You will give me rest. When I read that verse in Matthew, I think the key word is “come”. In Habakkuk, You say to come beside You. That verse always reminds me of an old TV show I once saw where the father is trying to get the children to come to him, but they just stand where they are and keep saying, “but Dad.” Instead of coming to You and allowing You to give me the rest I need, I try to stay in my spot and be like the hamster on the wheel. I use my colorful markers and calendar stickers to make me feel in control as things continue to spin out of control. I am exhausted and don’t have the energy to handle all that I have going on in my life. Like Martha in Luke chapter 10, I find myself asking, “Don’t You care how hard I’m having to work?” Your answer to her was to show her the importance of resting with You. Martha needed to get her priorities in order – I need to do that same thing! Proverbs 16: 2 (HCSB) says “All a man’s ways seem right to him, (all this planning seems so right to me; look at all the pretty colors on my calendar) but the Lord evaluates the motives. Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved.” Lord, I’m looking at my colorful and overflowing calendar and realizing that my plans are worthless if they are not Your plans. I’m coming to You with my weary mind, weary body, and weary spirit and asking for Your rest.