But, You Have to Forgive Me

Jul17

Romans 5:8 – But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us! (HCSB) 

Romans 3:23 – for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (NIV)

As I am sitting at the kitchen table and finishing my coffee, I am listening to the grandchildren play down the blockshall.  They are building towers with blocks when our grandson kicks over our granddaughter’s tower.  I am listening to the heated conversation that follows; ready to step in if necessary.  The storm appears to have blown over when I hear him say that he is sorry but then goes on to inform her that she MUST forgive him because he apologized.  In a very calm voice she says “no”.  I’m thinking I’d better tip-toe down the hall and take a peek at this situation! I watch as he starts to explain to her again how she MUST forgive him.  She just sits quietly and looks at him while he gets more and more agitated, then very calmly says “no”.  He starts in again on how she MUST forgive him but then adds that if she doesn’t forgive him, she is a sinner.  She looks at him and, without a sound, gets up and walks out of the room. He goes after her and in a loud voice says, “you can’t walk away when I’m telling you that you’re a sinner!” I am swallowing my laughter as I try to explain to him that you can’t MAKE someone forgive you and that calling her a sinner probably isn’t the best way to get her to forgive him!!  Lord, aren’t Your children just like these children?  We try to tell people that they MUST behave a certain way and then call them sinners and wonder why they won’t listen to what we have to say.  Lord, I think of how You treat sinners.  You speak to sinners and allowed them to speak to You.  Mark 2:13-17 tells of You having dinner with sinners and talking to them with respect. You didn’t yell at sinners or threaten them. Instead You died an indescribably horrible death so that sins could be forgiven.  Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned, so Lord, thank You for talking to me and allowing me to talk to You.  Thank You for not giving up on me when I disappoint You, but You welcome me home like Your parable of the son in Luke 15.  Father, thank You for giving Your only son so that I could be forgiven.

 

Round and Round

Jul2

Ephesians 4:32 – And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. (HCSB)angrywoman

Lord, I am drinking coffee with a vengeance this morning, I am doing more gulping than sipping, and the cup is hitting the table with a little more force than normal.  Truth be told, hitting with more force than necessary, but I’m a lot mad and a little hurt.  I keep asking this person to do something, but it never gets done.  Every time I ask about it, apologies flow and promises are made for future behavior, but time usually reveals that the apologies are worthless and the promises are hollow. Next time I ask it will be the same cycle again.  I feel as if I’m on one of those spinning amusement part rides where you go round and round just to end up where you were when you got on.  Lord, You know I can’t just throw up my hands and walk away.  My first reaction is to let this person know that I’m angry, but then I hear Your voice pointing me to scripture.  The Bible tells me over and over to refrain from anger. Psalms says to avoid anger because it leads to evil.   Proverbs tells me that being angry makes me do foolish things and that getting angry over things like this doesn’t even make sense.  James says to be slow to speak in anger because it doesn’t show Your righteousness.  So what can I do to change this person?  I think Thomas A’Kempis summed up this situation perfectly when he said “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be”.  Okay, Lord, I know that sometimes You speak through other people when You speak to us, and that is speaking to me.  How many times have I asked You for forgiveness but go back and do the same things all over again?  How many promises have I made to You?  How many times have I apologized?  Thank You, Lord, that You forgive me and love me even when I don’t follow through on my promises.  Thank You, Lord, that You never throw up Your hands and walk away.   Lord, help me to follow Your direction and show Your love.

Restlessly Resting

Jun24

1 Peter 5: 7: Cast all your cares upon Him because He cares for you. (HCSB)

Psalm 107:21: Let them give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love and His wonderful works for the human race (HCSB) 

 

I couldn’t sit still long enough this morning to finish even one cup of hot coffee.  I had to keep reheating it reheatingcoffeebecause I was so agitated that I couldn’t sit. Two months ago, I was so sure of what You wanted me to do.  The path was clear, the light was bright, and I was ready for the smooth journey that lay ahead.  Then I hit a bump, but You were there to give me the push I needed.  Then there seemed to be a rockslide on the road I had been traveling so confidently.  I couldn’t see around it.  I couldn’t see over it.  I couldn’t see You in what I felt was rubble.  I definitely couldn’t see what to do next. I was so sure that You had given me this directive.  I was so sure that I was following Your plan. I was so sure, and now I am so confused.  I finally took my reheated coffee and did what I should have done much earlier — I sat down to not only talk to You but to listen to You too.  I reached for the devotional book that was on the table, opened it, and read these words, “Rest in my love.  Relax in my presence.  Let go of what is troubling you.  Focus on Me.”. 1 Peter 5:7 tells me to give You my cares.  I recently heard a speaker talking about following You and not turning back.  He said “If God gives you the promise, He will see you through to the conclusion.”  Thank You, Lord, for reminding me that I don’t need to stress and worry about the journey because You care about the journey and You care about me.  Psalm 107:21 tells me to give thanks to You for Your faithful love and wondrous works.  Your eye is on the sparrow (Luke 12:6-7), so why do I ever think You would blink when looking at me?  I waver and stumble, question the future and look back at the past.  Psalm 37: 7 tells me to wait patiently.  Henri J.M. Nouwen is quoted as saying “A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.” Thank You for Your direction, for Your patience with Your impatient child, and most of all that You always care.

What Did You Say!??!

Jun8

2Thessalonians 3:3: But the Lord is faithful; He will strengthen and guard you from the evil one. (HCSB)

Isaiah 41:10: Do not fear, for I am with you;
                      do not be afraid, for I am your God.
                      I will strengthen you; I will help you;
                      I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.  

                                     (HCSB)        

My nephew and I were recently chatting over coffee about church songs and how the words are sometimes misunderstood.  When he was about three years old, he went through a period when getting him to church involved much force and many tears.  After extensive investigation by his parents, it was discovered that he had seriously misunderstood what one of the hymns suggested he needed to do to have Christ in his life!  In his case, since he was too young to read, he misunderstood because of the way the words were being pronounced.  Sometimes we misunderstand because of pronunciation – we’ve all heard of Glad Lee, the cross-eyed bear and of course heard people sing “Andy walks with me; Andy talks with me”.  Sometimes we misunderstand because we just don’t listen to the words.  I have been in worship services and seen people raise their hands and sometimes even close their eyes in worship while singing “test me and try me”.  Come on, really?  You really want to be tested and tried?  NOT ME!!  I wonder what You must think, Lord.  We sing with all our might asking to go through trials and be tested but whine, pout, and throw tantrums when the smallest obstacle comes our way.  We sing “don’t move the mountain” but complain when our path brings us to a hill or even a small bump in the road.  We sing about falling and getting back up when in reality we scream “why me, Lord?” with all our might when we stub our toe on obstacles WE created!  I would rather sing about being wrapped tight and covered in Your hand until the storm is over!  I would vote for singing “protect me” over “test me” any day!  But I know that no matter what happens in my life, I can sing with confidence about your faithfulness. Trouble will come into our lives – sometimes through other people’s bad decisions, sometimes through our own bad decisions. Thomas S. Monson is quoted as saying “The principles of living greatly include the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, trial with humility”.  I thank You for the promise in Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”  Lord, I still like the idea of a smooth journey over being tested and tried, but I know I don’t need to fear the troubles ahead because You will help me, You will give me holdinghandsstrength, and You will always hold my hand.

Rest for the Weary

Jun4

Matthew 11:28 : Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (NIV)

Philippians 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (NIV)rest

I just made another cup of coffee, but Lord, we both know it isn’t going to help.  I am weary from the inside out.  Weary mind, weary body, weary in my spirit.  It has been a busy week.  One day of doctor’s appointments with more tests to come.  One day of sitting at the hospital with a family of close friends.  Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to see Your hand at work there!  One day of playing “catch up” – cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping.  In my “spare time” I am cooking large meals so that there will be leftovers for other meals since I have another busy week coming up.  My body is so tired that I feel as if I have literally hit a wall – a big, thick, solid, rock wall.  My mind is so tired that I think my brain has overloaded and shut down.  Just looking at the calendar creates a feeling of taking on a heavy burden.  Aren’t there supposed to be some white spaces on a calendar?  I write appointments in different colors to be organized, but when the calendar begins to resemble an explosion in a crayon factory, it just causes me to feel that my master plan has become a master disaster.  When I get tired and worn out, I tend to forget that I need to focus on You and not on the schedule.  I need to allow You to work with me and give me rest.  I know You don’t want me to take on more than I should.  Your plan for me includes a time to rejuvenate – mind, body, and spirit.  You say to come to You and You will give me rest.  When I read that verse in Matthew, I think the key word is “come”.   In Habakkuk, You say to come beside You.  That verse always reminds me of an old TV show I once saw where the father is trying to get the children to come to him, but they just stand where they are and keep saying, “but Dad.”  Instead of coming to You and allowing You to give me the rest I need, I try to stay in my spot and be like the hamster on the wheel.  I use my colorful markers and calendar stickers to make me feel in control as things continue to spin out of control.  I am exhausted and don’t have the energy to handle all that I have going on in my life.  Like Martha in Luke chapter 10, I find myself asking, “Don’t You care how hard I’m having to work?”  Your answer to her was to show her the importance of resting with You.  Martha needed to get her priorities in order – I need to do that same thing! Proverbs 16: 2 (HCSB) says “All a man’s ways seem right to him, (all this planning seems so right to me; look at all the pretty colors on my calendar) but the Lord evaluates the motives.  Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be achieved.”  Lord, I’m looking at my colorful and overflowing calendar and realizing that my plans are worthless if they are not Your plans.  I’m coming to You with my weary mind, weary body, and weary spirit and asking for Your rest.

Beauty is More Than Skin Deep

May29

Psalm 139:14 – I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (NIV) 

1 Peter 3:3-4 – 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. (NIV)

 

Lord, as I was finishing my cup of coffee I heard a commercial for a call-in show for parents.  The teaser was a mom with two daughters, ages 13 and 9.  The 13-year-old is so concerned about her appearance that she will make-uponly wear clothes of a certain style because she feels those styles best camouflage her body’s “problem areas”.  She will spend hours getting ready to go out of the house because she has to find the “perfect outfit” and then have “flawless hair and make-up”.  The mom’s real concern was that the 9-year-old is beginning to display “body issues” and has put herself on a diet! I was recently talking to a young wife and mother who was talking about how she hides her body, even from her husband.  Being much older and somewhat wiser on the subject, I couldn’t help but think that she needs to celebrate the way she looks because the day will come when she realizes that the way she looks right now is the best she’ll ever look!  The day will come when she will realize the truth of that, but sadly, that day is far in her future.  Why do we as women buy into the lies Satan whispers to us through media?  I once heard a joke with the line “if I could loose 30 pounds, I’d be down to the weight I never thought I’d be up to.” Why do we look with disgust at the body You created.  Psalm 139:14 tells me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made.  Genesis 1:27 tells me that I am made in Your image.  So why does the number in the back of my pants or the number on the scales determine how I feel about myself?  1 Peter 3:3-4 says that my beauty shouldn’t come from the way I look on the outside. So why is outward appearance so important to me?  Why are there so many types of make-up and body shapers and diet plans? It’s not a sin to want to look better. I heard a minister once say that if a little paint helps the barn door, by all means paint it!  It becomes a sin when time in front of the mirror becomes more important than time spent with You.  1 Samuel 16:7 tells us that You look at our heart, not our outfit.  I like receiving compliments on how I look.  I like new things. I like clothes, and I like make-up.  But, Matthew 6 says not to worry about clothing but to seek You first.  Lord, I’ll drink my coffee and seek Your face before I worry about “putting on” mine.

Water Everywhere, But None to Drink

May22

Genesis 1:10 – God called the dry land “earth,” and He called the gathering of the water “seas.” And God saw that it was good. (HCSB) 

Proverbs 20:12 – The hearing ear and the seeing eye—
the Lord made them both. (HCSB)

I recently was having my coffee on the balcony overlooking the ocean. What an amazing way to start the day, Lord!  The ocean is my most favorite place to be. Thank You, Lord, for creating this wondrous sight — beautiful white sand, darting gray birds, amazing blue water.  Water that is constantly moving.  Water that is gentle oceangullenough to tickle a child’s toes and powerful enough to wash entire cities away.  Water that can house, feed, and sustain millions of creatures but isn’t able to quench the thirst of a single beachcomber.  Water with waves for jumping, waves for riding, and waves that can take you down or take you away.  There are so many songs about Your majesty and about the wonders of Your creation, but Lord, I stand speechless and overwhelmed in that You allow me to have this opportunity to be a part of this creation simply for my own pleasure.  Jeremiah 1:5 says that before You formed me in the womb, You knew me.  You knew that I would love everything about the seashore.  You gave me the senses to enjoy the sight of the shoreline and the horizon, the sounds of the waves and the children at play, the smell of the sea and the sunscreen, and the feel of the sand washing over my feet as the waves go back out.  I don’ t really enjoy the taste of seawater, but I do so love the taste of seafood!! How can anyone look at all of this and not know that You are wondrous and powerful.  Micah 7:19 tells us that You have such compassion on us that You have thrown all of our sins into the depth of the sea.  You are strong enough to create all of this power and beauty.  You are generous enough to allow me to experience its majesty and wonder.  You are compassionate enough to throw my sins away.  You alone are Lord of Lords and King of Kings, and John 1:12 tells me that I am Your child.  Thank You, Lord

Wish I’d Done That

May13

 

Ephesians 6:18 — And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.(NIV)

 

 

As I am finishing my coffee this morning and talking to You about the day ahead, I think of a chance encounter prayI had yesterday with a young friend of mine from church. She was thanking me for visiting her friend Mary and for the follow up phone calls. Mary has two children with special needs and was so excited that I had shared with her the classes and other support that our church offers. My friend went on to thank me for inviting Mary to lunch next week and shared how Mary was looking so forward to this one-on-one time with me, just to relax with her new friend. As my young friend continued on with her thanks and praises, I was seriously wishing that I had done all of those things, but it wasn’t me!  When I made that confession, I laughingly said, “tell whoever it is to keep it up – she’s doing a much better job than I am!”  My friend and I both chuckled and walked away.  Even though I walked away from the conversation, I can’t get away from the feeling of wishing I had done all those things and wondering why I hadn’t.  I heard a speaker once say that its always women who say, “I could do more.”  I don’t think I could necessarily “do more”, but I can “do better”.  I know that I can’t go back in time and replace that loving woman who reached out to Mary to give her what she needed — help for her children, a friend, even a free lunch!  But, I can use that unknown woman’s example and become more of an encourager.  As these thoughts are running through my mind, I also have the thought (maybe a whisper from You, God?) that it isn’t about me!  Philippians 2:3 tells me not to do things because of rivalry.  Instead of thinking that I need to “keep up”, I can be applauding this woman who reached out.  1 Thessalonians 5:11 says that we should encourage each other and build each other up.  I can’t do that with her face to face, but I can do that by praying for her and being thankful for her actions that were such a blessing to Mary.   Lord, I thank You for this sweet sister who is working so that others can see You.  I pray that You will give her strength, that You will send her encouragement, and that she will feel Your presence in all that she does.  And Lord, make me more sensitive to the opportunities You provide for me to help others.

The Hardest Words to Say

May3

1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (NIV)

1 John 1:9 – If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. (The Message Bible)

Lord, why is it so difficult to take responsibility when we do something wrong?  I heard people joking say, and resonsibility2I’ve said it myself, “I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.”  When we say that, it’s supposed to be funny.  When we act it out, it’s not funny at all.  One time I had someone say something very hurtful to me, so hurtful that people who overheard were shocked.  A friend of hers forced her to apologize to me.  Her apology was “I’m sorry you cried.”  What she was really saying was “I’m sorry that you got me in trouble.”   She not only didn’t take responsibility for her action, she felt that she had been the victim because of my reaction.  Saying “I’m sorry” is so important. I’ve heard people say that if you love someone, you don’t have to say you’re sorry.  That is such a lie from Satan.  We need to say it to our spouses, to our children, to our friends, even to strangers.  We especially need to say it to You, Lord.  Sometimes we don’t apologize because we are trying to hide our sin from You.  Sometimes we even try to put the blame on You.  Adam did that in the Garden of Eden.  He tried to hide.  When discovered, he didn’t take responsibility for his sin.  He felt that he had been the victim.  He blamed You.   1 John 1:9 tells us if we confess our sins, You will forgive us.  Lord, I am sorry that I let my tongue become like that unbridled horse that James warns about.  Lord, I’m sorry that I try to blame others and You for my sins.  Lord, I’m sorry that I worry and fret even though You tell me not to do that.  Lord, I’m sorry that I sometimes get in the way of Your blessings by trying to “help” You.  Lord, thank You for loving me so much that You meet me over coffee and let me say “I’m sorry.”

Sing and Tell

Apr25

1 Chronicles 16:9 – Sing to Him; sing praise to Him;
tell about all His wonderful works!

 

As I drink my coffee this morning, I remember when we were first married my husband would start the day off singing.  I love songs and I love to sing, but I had to explain to him that first came coffee, then singing!  I like to sing songs the way they are written, and I make up songs for my grandkids.  We sing about hot drinks.  We sing music notes jumbleabout traffic lights — we have a red light song, a green light song, and even a yellow light song.  We have a going to the beach song and a riding the waves song.  We have a tiger song for my grandson and a bumblebee song for my granddaughter. We even have a brushing teeth song.  My grandson once told his mom “My Granny knows a song for EVERYTHIING”!  My favorite songs are praise songs, and my favorite praise song says “sing with me”.  I love singing praises to God, singing to thank Him, singing to tell of His mercy and greatness.  There is a song that just says “sing, sing, sing” and that’s what I love to do.  Singing is fun.  Singing is universal.  Studies have shown that the brain holds on longer to information that is set to music.  Singing is a wonderful thing.  But………singing about God isn’t enough.  In the Holman Christian Bible, I Chronicles 16:9 says “sing to Him, sing praise to Him, tell about His wonderful works”.  Sing TO Him.  Sing ABOUT Him.  But sing and then tell.  Singing is wonderful but not enough.  Sing about His wonderful works, but also tell what He has done and is doing in your life.  Sing of his mercy, but also tell how that mercy has made a difference in your life.  Sing of His greatness, but also tell how He answers your prayers.  Singing is good.  Singing is fun.   But I also need to tell what the Creator and Savior of the world means to me!